Border Patrol and "Is that the school or the prison?"

After 40 hours of staring out the window at the Rustbelt of China and laughing at videos of ourselves in lieu of other forms of entertainment, having our compartment searched by the Russian Border Patrol was pretty exciting. The lady inspecting our passports did not even recognize Lydia because her Russian smile (i.e. dull facial expression) did not match her jolly photo. Before customs, our provodnik came into our compartment with a mischievous look on his face, glanced at the overhead luggage rack and remarked: "I'd say you don't have nothing up there, right? *wink*. And after a second of confusion Lydia replied "nichevo" with an understanding smile. Welcome to Russia, where we hide our fish and have nothing to declare. At least according to the Russian inspector who responded to our declaration of fish with "come on girl, put that away! Don't make me do my job here." Lesson learned: watch out for those winks.

399 Minutes looks like more on paper than they feel like if you're in the pink & purple ladies café in Zabaikalsk. That's how long our lunch break was and it was a real eye-opener on rural Russia, not just because of the dollop of mayonnaise on every single dish they served us at Кaфe мария. Despite the lack of proper asphalt roads and countless disintegrating buildings, Zabaikalsk drivers take great pride in their cars. We saw major international brands in impeccable condition on every corner. It matters little whether the driving console is on the right or left of the car, they seem to buy anything make here and keep their cars in perfect working order.